By Robert Noland
So you’ve agreed to facilitate a small group? The people are committed, the dates are set, and the study focus of the group has been chosen. Even the snacks are delegated.
But then, fear strikes your heart. These people don’t really know one another, do they? It’s going to be awkward, isn’t it? We’ll all be uncomfortable, won’t we? Take a deep breath and consider a few tips to build a firm foundation for your group’s first meeting.
1. Casual
As people arrive, allow some agenda-free chitchat time, standing around the snacks or coffee in the kitchen. It’s interesting how people will linger and talk in a kitchen, but then often clam up as they sit down in the living room.
The more your group members casually talk among themselves, the better your first group time will be once you “officially” begin. If people aren’t talking much, or it begins to feel awkward, move on to the seating area and get started. But don’t rush the relaxed banter on this first meeting, because some amazing relationships may be already beginning.
2. Communication
As much as some personalities may not prefer this approach, go around and let people give an introduction and tell something about themselves. As the group leader, take the time to ask any follow-up questions you think might help everyone.
For example, Nancy states her name and says, “I work at the X Corporation.” Before you move on, say, “That’s great, Nancy. I’m familiar with that company. What do you do there?” Or, if a couple says they have two children named Baker and Bonnie and they stop there, then say, “Great. Tell us about your son and daughter. How old are they? What are they like?”
Remember, if you want to know something more, it’s likely the other group members do too. While being careful not to be too nosy or personal, delving past the surface in the first meeting can communicate the group is going to care about one another’s lives.
3. Care
At that first meeting, everyone’s a little uncomfortable. People aren’t yet sure this is for them. Try to calm their fears.
After introductions, say something like, “Okay, I don’t know about you, but I’ve been nervous about this. Coming to a new group can be unnerving. I’d like to ask two things of anyone who would like to share. First, what has been your biggest concern prior to coming, and then, what do you hope to gain from this group?”
This honest, transparent opening can defuse anxiety and show everyone the goal is to be open and honest. While this strategy isn’t foolproof, most groups will begin to share and open up to such an invitation. As the group leader, you should always set the pace, so it’s a good plan for you to start by sharing your own concerns and what you hope to see happen.
4. Comfort
Keep this first meeting light and upbeat as much as possible. You want to work toward a balance of going deep and getting serious when needed, but also being able to laugh and have fun. Don’t get too heavy, too fast.
The first meeting is for introductions and establishing a comfort level. If you see some smiles, relaxed postures, and engaging looks, you’re hitting the target for group comfort.
Before your group arrives for the first time, pray over your home and the rooms you’ll be in.
For your first gathering, practice these four C’s, and you could be forming relationships that will help people grow stronger in their love for God and make friends for a lifetime.
ROBERT NOLAND is a freelance writer in Franklin, Tennessee.
This article appeared in our Winter 2016 issue. You can read the entire issue online. Also, make sure you subscribe to our print edition to receive the Spring 2016 issue delivered to your home or church for free.
