An American Perspectives Survey found many attributes make a potential partner less likely. For many Americans, faith is a dating dealbreaker.
By Aaron Earls
Most Americans still identify with some religious faith, with close to 2 in 3 U.S. adults saying they are Christians. Yet someone being very religious is a dating dealbreaker for more than 2 in 5 Americans.
An American Perspectives Survey of 5,000 U.S. adults, including nearly 800 singles, found that many attributes make a potential partner less likely. Of the characteristics surveyed, smoking cigarettes was most likely to turn off possible dates, with 77% saying that would make them less likely to date someone. And Americans would not prefer to date someone who lives in another state (68%). Religious beliefs were also among the top considerations but not always in the same direction.
Religion and relationships
Americans seem to want a Goldilocks approach to religion and dating. They want someone who is just right in the middle. Half (49%) say it would be a dealbreaker if someone didn’t believe in God, while 42% say it would make them less likely to date someone if the person is very religious. On the inverse, 12% say someone denying God’s existence would make them more likely to date that person. And 20% say being very religious is very desirable in a potential mate. More than a third say it wouldn’t make any difference if someone believed in God (38%) or is very religious (36%).
More than 2 in 5 U.S. adults (42%) say they're less likely to date someone who is very religious, according to the Survey Center on American Life. Share on XDespite newer research showing the church drawing in more adults with college degrees and fewer with less formal education, college-educated adults are more likely than those with a high school diploma or less to see being very religious as a negative dating trait (52% v. 32%). The college-educated are also more likely than those with a high school education or less to say not believing in God makes someone less desirable (45% v. 49%).
Politics also plays a role in whether someone sees religion as a positive dating trait. Liberal Americans (69%) are less inclined to date someone who is very religious compared to 24% of conservatives. Among conservative women, 75% say they would be less likely to date someone who does not believe in God, including 61% who say they are very unlikely.
Americans’ personal religious convictions also play a role in how they view their prospective dates but not always how it might seem. “Most religious Americans report having significant reservations about dating an atheist,” according to the report, “but they are not comparably enthusiastic about dating someone who is very religious.”
More than 4 in 5 white evangelical Christians (84%) say they would be less likely to date someone who does not believe in God, including 68% who say they would be very unlikely. Only a slight majority of white evangelicals (56%) say they would be more likely to date someone who is very religious.
“Most religious Americans report having significant reservations about dating an atheist, but they are not comparably enthusiastic about dating someone who is very religious.” Share on XAmong the religiously unaffiliated, 3 in 4 (76%) say they would be less inclined to date someone who is very religious. But just 31% say they would be more likely to choose an atheist.
More dating dos and don’ts
Other significant factors that made dates less desirable were often connected to perceived financial instability—being unemployed (69%), living with their parents (51%)—and political perspectives—being a supporter of former President Donald Trump (52%), not trusting vaccines (49%), or being a feminist (42%), vegan (40%), Republican (33%), or Democrat (25%).
Children may also be an issue with potential mates. Around 2 in 5 say they would be less likely to date someone who has children (43%) or someone who does not want children (39%).
The height of a date doesn’t matter as much to most adults. Around a third (34%) say they’d be less likely to date someone who is much shorter than them. This is primarily an issue for women, as 56% do not want to date someone much shorter, compared to 11% for men. One in 5 (20%) say someone being much taller could be a problem. Men are more likely to have this issue (32% v. 8% among women).
