Seeing people for the sake of a gospel conversation often takes time. Think months and years, not minutes and days.
By Dustin Schadt
Taking your chances on a new barber is inherently risky, but sometimes I like to live life on the edge. While my regular barber was on vacation, I had the opportunity to see a new person on staff. We’ll call her Sarah.
Between clips we exchanged a few pleasantries before she asked me the big question: “What do you do for a living?” For a pastor, this is a make-or-break question. I told her I was a pastor, and she responded with a smile and a slight tear in her eye.
She was silent for what seemed like five minutes and then asked, “As a pastor, do you do counseling? My husband and I need help.” I said, “Of course, when would y’all like to sit down and talk?”
I learned later from Sarah that they were Jewish, and they didn’t have a close relationship with their rabbi. Sarah and I set up a time for the three of us to meet at my office.
Sarah and her husband visited at the set time. He was a mountain of a guy with a long beard and a firm handshake. His demeanor was about what you would imagine a husband’s demeanor to be if your wife brought you along to a conversation with a Protestant church pastor you’d never meet.
I’ll never forget the first question he asked me: “I’ve never been to a church before, but I’ve always wondered when I drive by: ‘What do you all do here?’” I wish I’d had a month to think up a perfect answer. Hurriedly, I responded, “We help people know and follow Jesus.” Then, we went on in conversation to unpack their present circumstances and a potential path forward. I listened, offered the hope of Jesus in the gospel, and prayed with them.
How would you answer that question about your church or ministry? You’re likely familiar with the saying from the business world, “What business are you in, and how is business?” Similarly, what do you all do at your church? It’s probably not just a single thing, but I’d bet it’s not everything or anything. It is something. What is that something?
Seeing people
We’ve witnessed the Lord at work in our church through the “something” of outrageous kindness. We see people. It’s not all we do, but it’s something present in all we do. From greeting and following up with first-time guests to having difficult corrective conversations, we aim to make kindness an ingredient in all we do.
“From greeting and following up with first-time guests to having difficult corrective conversations, we aim to make kindness an ingredient in all we do.” — @dschadt Share on XWe all know the apprehensions some have toward church things—judgmentalism, arrogance, and hurt. But what if we did it differently? What if we stood absolutely rock solid on the truth of God’s Word but did so with such outrageous kindness that a watching outside world couldn’t help but be drawn to this peculiar love? 1 Corinthians 13:3 shows us, “If I give away all my possessions, and if I give over my body in order to boast but do not have love, I gain nothing” (CSB).
Lifeway Research surveyed 1,000 U.S. pastors for the 2022 Greatest Needs of Pastors study to discover what they see as their most pressing ministry difficulties. According to this research, 76% of pastors say connecting with people not involved with a church is one of their most prominent ministry needs.
I get it. I live in the church world. So I attend staff meetings with Christians, go to lunch with Christians, and live with Christians in my home. Schedules are full, emotions are drained, and pressure mounts.
But I’d suggest a simpler plan for seeing people, for connecting with people not involved with a church. This is how we respond to a world that desperately needs Christ. Try three words: slow, ordinary, normal (or S.O.N.).
1. Go slow
Make a commitment to be in it for the long-haul with a group of people. Don’t feel the need to rush real relationships. Think less “ramen noodles” (although they are tasty) and more “brisket” (also tasty). There’s no good, fast way to cook brisket. It takes time. Seeing people for the sake of a gospel conversation often works the same.
If the Lord leads you to share with a stranger, go for it. Too few people share their faith. But I’ve often found it takes a long time to develop a relationship strong enough to bear the weight of a deep gospel conversation. Think months and years, not minutes and days.
“If the Lord leads you to share with a stranger, go for it. But I’ve often found it takes a long time to develop a relationship strong enough to bear the weight of a deep gospel conversation.” — @dschadt Share on X2. Make connections in the ordinary
You don’t have to create the most unforgettable experiences or drastically change your schedule. Connect with people in the ordinary. By far, the best way I’ve found that works for me to connect with people is through fitness. I’ve done running, spin classes, and a lot of CrossFit.
I’m in regular proximity to the same people for hours on end each week. I’m bound to have opportunities to see people, show care, and talk about spiritual things. Your ordinary may look different, but don’t reinvent your schedule. Find what you’re regularly doing and invite others in, or find what others are doing and invite yourself into that.
3. Be normal
Don’t take this the wrong way, but sometimes it’s difficult for well-intentioned Christians to remember what it’s like to not walk with Jesus. That’s a great thing when it comes to sanctification but challenging when it comes to evangelism.
Don’t get uncomfortable when people who don’t follow Jesus do non-Jesus follower things. Don’t draw attention to every sin you see or immediately bring up less important controversial topics. Not every conversation has to be a spiritual or corrective conversation. Ask about family, fun, and faith too.
“Sometimes it’s difficult for well-intentioned Christians to remember what it’s like to not walk with Jesus. That’s a great thing when it comes to sanctification but challenging when it comes to evangelism.” — @dschadt Share on XEvery day, we may pass a person someone has been praying for for years. Parents of adult children often ask me to pray for their wayward children. I hear stories of children who grew up going to church and hearing all about Jesus, but for one reason or another, they’ve chosen not to go the way of Jesus. It’s heartbreaking, and their mother and father pray for them with tears. Maybe you’re reading this, and you have a child who would fit this description.
This is why seeing people is eternally important. These wayward souls are in workplaces, ballfields, and neighborhoods, and it’s up to you and me to see them. See them. Slow down. Put down the phone. Say hello. Invite them over. Bear the awkwardness of new relationships for the sake of the value of a human soul who is desperately loved by their earthly and heavenly Father. Go slow. Live in the ordinary. And be normal, for God’s glory and His fame.
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