Helping Families With Hard Questions

Children ask all kinds of questions—some easy, some difficult. As church leaders, how do we help people respond to these complex questions?

By Chad Higgins

My 6-year-old daughter keeps asking me the same question: “Why can’t I see God?” We talk about God a lot at home, and my wife and I are committed to giving her thoughtful, meaningful answers—not just basic ones—when it comes to matters of faith and life. I thought this would be an easy question to answer. As a minister, I’ve spent years reflecting on this topic through books, sermons, and conversations, but no matter how carefully I explained it to her, she kept asking: “Why can’t I see God?”

One Sunday morning, the children joined us in the main service at church. Our pastor was preaching and said from the stage, “Here, we see Jesus…” My daughter perked up. Her question was finally going to be answered! She turned around and loudly asked, “WHERE IS HE?” We couldn’t help but laugh as we explained the pastor was referring to seeing Jesus in the Bible.

Children ask all kinds of questions—some easy, some difficult. In today’s culture, it seems kids are facing tough questions at younger and younger ages. Elementary-aged children are grappling with issues of identity and safety, while parents are navigating challenges like online content and school bullying. As church leaders, how do we help people respond to these complex questions?

A biblical worldview

There are too many questions to cover in a single parenting class. What one family is dealing with might not even be on another family’s radar. To truly help families, we need to provide them with a foundation—a framework for understanding and engaging with the world through a biblical worldview.

“To truly help families, we need to provide them with a foundation—a framework for understanding and engaging with the world through a biblical worldview.” — @chadhiggins Share on X

A parent who doesn’t grasp a biblical worldview will struggle to have meaningful conversations with their kids and teenagers about cultural issues. If a teenager believes truth is subjective, both sides can walk away from a conversation thinking they’re right. Without a foundational understanding that God is just and holy, we risk building a moral framework based solely on opinion.

If you’re looking for a topic for a parent class or a Wednesday night series, consider a focus on basic worldview understanding. Helping families have conversations about the sanctity of life, for example, starts with Genesis 1:27, which teaches that humanity is made in the image of God. Understanding foundational principles helps us become learners, rather than simply parroting talking points from social media.

Create connection, not just content

We often hear that “it takes a village to raise a child.” But where has our village gone? Our social circles are shrinking, yet we need community—not just for safety, but for wisdom and comfort. When it comes to parenting, many of us parent the way we were parented or learn from those closest to us. The church has always been a place for families to connect with other believers. But in our quest for efficiency, we may be losing relational depth?

I remember attending curriculum night when my daughter was in preschool. We sat in tiny chairs, listening to the teacher explain the year’s lessons. But when it was over, there was no opportunity to meet other parents or learn from those who had been there before. We got content but no connection.

“Our social circles are shrinking, yet we need community—not just for safety, but for wisdom and comfort.” — @chadhiggins Share on X

Connection takes time and effort. How can we structure our Sunday mornings to foster connection in a society that struggles with it? While I’m not advocating for the return of awkward handshaking times during services, the trend of eliminating such moments points to a larger issue. Relationships begin with simple steps, like getting to know each other. It takes proximity and time to build meaningful connections.

Why connection matters

When it comes to answering difficult questions, sometimes there aren’t clear answers. When a child asks about the death of a family member, they don’t need an academic explanation but the presence of a relationship that says, “I’m here.”

At the end of the day, we’re all like my daughter. In our biggest questions, we just want to “see God.” We watch the news and ask, “Where is God?” The reminder of Jesus is that He is here with us. The beauty of the church is that He is alive and still with us, and through our relationships, we learn from and encourage one another.

And let us consider one another in order to provoke love and good works, not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching.

Hebrew 10:24-25, CSB

For permission to republish this article, contact Marissa Postell Sullivan.