Should Your Church Have Gender-Specific or Co-Ed Groups?

If you want your church to grow by reaching new people, it may be beneficial to offer gender-specific groups and co-ed groups simultaneously.

By Ken Braddy

The Great Commission tells us to “go and make disciples” (Matthew 28:18-20). And today the church expresses its obedience to this primary command in a variety of ways, especially in group ministry. Your church likely has two kinds of groups—gender-specific and co-ed. When should these kinds of groups be used to make disciples? Are they mutually beneficial or mutually exclusive?

As in fishing, it’s good to have multiple hooks in the water. As a church practitioner in groups ministry for the past three decades, I’ve seen the benefits of having both kinds of groups to reach different kinds of people.

In normative-sized churches (those with around 60 people in worship) you may only have two groups for adults—a younger adult group and an older adult group (co-ed) or a men’s group and a women’s group (gender-specific). That’s perfectly fine. As churches grow by reaching new people, they may be able to offer gender-specific groups and co-ed groups simultaneously.

Churches have three kinds of group philosophies: ongoing/open groups, short-term/closed groups, and groups for special occasions. I’ve seen both co-ed and gender-specific groups excel in all three environments. Keep the “hooks in the water” illustration above in mind. You catch more fish with more hooks in the water. You’ll catch more people when you have more group options for them.

There’s only one occasion in which I would never use a co-ed group. More on that later. For now, let’s think about the three kinds of groups and their occasions and how gender-specific and co-ed groups help you reach people and make disciples.

1. Ongoing/open groups

An ongoing group is what I call Sunday School (substitute whatever name your church uses for the ministry adjacent to your worship service). They’re ongoing because they meet year-round, not taking many Sundays off, if any. And they use ongoing curriculum that fits the “we meet every week” strategy.

These groups are open groups because they’re open to new people attending on any given Sunday. They exist for the people who are not yet members of those kinds of groups; they expect new people. They are open to new people becoming part of their groups.

In this environment, it makes sense to have both co-ed and gender-specific groups (if your church has the capacity). If your church has a philosophy of providing co-ed groups but not gender-specific ones, you might be missing out on opportunities to reach people who prefer gender-specific groups.

“If your church has a philosophy of providing co-ed groups but not gender-specific ones, you might be missing out on opportunities to reach people who prefer gender-specific groups.” — @kenbraddy Share on X

My mother was one such person. She divorced my dad years ago after several incidents of marital infidelity on his part. When she began attending her new church alone, she didn’t feel comfortable in a couples’ class (co-ed). She wanted to heal and recover with a same-gender group. At that time, she wasn’t looking to be a part of a singles’ group nor a couples’ group. Instead, to meet her needs, a gender-specific group was necessary.

If your church has a philosophy of only providing gender-specific groups, you may miss the opportunity to engage with couples who desire to be together in a group. It creates a level of anxiety to tell a visiting couple they must attend different groups. If you choose to have one kind of group instead of the other one, be aware of the limitations (and advantages) of having one or the other.

2. Short-term/closed groups

Short-term/closed groups are just what they sound like—shorter in the length of weeks or months they meet and closed to new people after the second week. Most short-term studies that are six, eight, or 12 sessions fall into this category of groups.

Gender-specific short-term groups are an excellent strategy to connect people who are interested in a particular topic and who want the ability to relate to other people of the same gender.

Lifeway Research’s State of Ministry to Women study found nearly 3 in 5 women (58%) say ministry geared specifically toward women uniquely provides them a place where they can ask questions and openly discuss faith topics. Men will appreciate same-gender groups for the same reasons, sharing struggles, questions, and concerns more freely than in a co-ed group, one in which their wives may be present.

A recent example of a men’s short-term group is a five-session study based on the movie The Forge. The movie focused on the benefits of men being in a smaller accountability group. A short-term group based on The Forge could entice men in your church to get involved in a group unlike they have previously. Because of the nature of the content, this kind of group must remain gender-specific.

But there’s an advantage to offering co-ed short-term groups, too.

Couples often like meeting other couples, and single adults are able to be interwoven into the church as they attend co-ed groups. Groups that are co-ed also have the advantage of getting the perspectives of both sexes as they study the Scriptures together.

“Groups that are co-ed also have the advantage of getting the perspectives of both sexes as they study the Scriptures together.” — @kenbraddy Share on X

Short-term groups have a lot of flexibility in where and when they meet, too. It is not unusual to see churches offering short-term groups in homes, offices, apartment complexes, and restaurants. These kinds of groups are able to meet throughout the week, in addition to meeting at the church campus on Sunday or Wednesday nights.

3. Special occasion groups

Many churches offer “special occasion” groups for their members and guests. Men’s retreats, women’s retreats, parenting seminars, an event with a special guest speaker, and “onboarding” groups can be gender-specific or co-ed.

Onboarding groups are short in duration and designed to meet a felt need (financial management, marriage, parenting, etc.). They have the simultaneous goal of onboarding people into the church’s group ministry (onboarding groups gather around a felt need topic) and keeping the group together when the study ends, creating a new ongoing group.

The one occasion for gender-specific groups only

The rise in popularity of D-groups (discipleship groups), sometimes called “micro groups” (small gender-specific groups of three to five people), is taking place across the country. These kinds of groups should always be gender-specific, not co-ed, because of their intimate nature.

Members of these groups memorize Scripture together, study the Bible, pray for one another, share prayer requests, and often serve in the community as a way of visibly expressing their Christian faith. The group members have a higher level of accountability to one another than people in open groups do.

Remember, if your church can offer co-ed and gender-specific groups, you’ll give people more opportunities for connection, Bible study, and ministry. If you launch D-groups, be sure they’re gender-specific. If you can only offer one type of ongoing group on a Sunday morning, consider offering the other type mid-week. Groups of any type always remind me that we are better together, and we are better when we have multiple hooks in the water.

For permission to republish this article, contact Marissa Postell Sullivan.