What can a church of any size do to help people stay connected through life changes? Here are four suggestions.
By Mike Leake
Lynne, who had been helping in kids ministry, informed you her new job would take her out every third Sunday. It’s been six months now, and you’ve only seen her three times.
Patrick was a promising senior in high school who expressed interest in going into ministry. The summer before his freshman year of college, you spent countless hours discipling him. Patrick still comes home most weekends, but you saw him only once at Christmas time and never since.
Through the winter months, the Carters brought a vibrancy to your local church. In April, you were shocked when Mr. Carter said, “We’ll be out most Sunday’s this summer. Our oldest plays travel ball, and it takes up most of our weekends.” It’s October now, and you haven’t seen them since April.
A recent study found 18% of people who changed churches for a reason other than a residential move, did so because of a change to their life situation. You probably have a Lynne, Patrick, or a Carter family in your church—or, had them in your church. Is there a way to help people stay connected through these life changes?
Larger churches can often combat these issues by developing ministries focused upon these specific life-changes. But it’s difficult, if not impossible, to launch a college-aged ministry when you only have two people of that age. And a bi-vocational pastor who struggles to even recruit someone to lead worship on Sunday morning, isn’t exactly in a position to launch a new worship service for those with non-traditional work schedules. What can a church of any size do to help people stay connected through life changes? Here are four suggestions, which will be most effective if intertwined.
1. Provide flexible options with points of connection
During the COVID-19 pandemic, many churches gathered online. It provided a way to stay connected while physical gathering was not possible for many. Yet post-pandemic online church attendance is still on the rise. Many have decided the flexible hours and convenience of online worship outweigh the need to be physically present with other believers.
“Many have decided the flexible hours and convenience of online worship outweigh the need to be physically present with other believers.” — @mikeleake Share on XWhile we can make good theological arguments for the need to physically gather, perhaps we should also take an out-of-the-box mindset when it comes to staying connected with someone like Lynne. There are ways to keep her meaningfully engaged online, while providing on-ramps to church gatherings at times when she’s not working.
Rather than viewing the Sunday morning gathering as the pinnacle of engagement, let’s envision another scenario. Much like during the pandemic, Lynne wants to stay connected to her local church, but she is providentially hindered. Why not work with her instead of against her, insisting that her online engagement is second class?
Consider providing reflection questions for online gatherers as well as those gathering in-person. Launch a Facebook campus, where people can engage with one another—sharing insights and prayer requests. Give online ministry opportunities. And provide on-ramps to in-person gatherings like small groups or discipleship groups.
2. Form discipleship groups
Remember Patrick and the Carter Family? Patrick and the Carter’s oldest son, Eric, have something in common—a love for basketball. They have another thing in common—a weird schedule. Neither of them could make a 5 p.m. men’s Bible study, no matter what day of the week you held it. But they, along with a couple other guys at your church, have Thursday afternoons open. They decide to meet every other Thursday and talk about life and Jesus.
Can you imagine what it could look like if you had several of these discipleship groups throughout your church? How might the stability of a discipleship group help someone navigate life changes? It will provide an anchor for people, even if their Sunday morning attendance becomes sporadic.
A discipleship group can “provide an anchor for people, even if their Sunday morning attendance becomes sporadic.” — @mikeleake Share on X3. Unleash them for ministry
Let’s say Lynne is a nurse. She’s with people from the community at vulnerable times in their lives. She constantly gives of herself to people in need, leaving her both exhausted and encouraged. As she turns a hurting person over in their hospital bed, Lynne’s caring touch is the hands and feet of Jesus. Why do we not consider this ministry?
The Carter family is around several lost people who have sports as their god. Travel ball teams get close, often sharing personal details, and doing life together over the season. They are able to speak the love of Jesus into these families. If you had a family who left for three months to build houses in Portugal, would you consistently communicate with them and pray for them? Why don’t we do this with the Carter family?
We like to talk about being missional—and that we are all called to live sent. Is this not also true for those who are no longer able to be with us on a Sunday morning? Rather than fighting some of these things, why not partner and utilize them for the furtherance of the kingdom? And if the Carters are awkward about calling travel ball a ministry, well that opens up a different conversation, doesn’t it?
4. Cultivate a theology of presence
Gnosticism taught that the physical body doesn’t matter—only the spirit does. What we do in the body, they taught, has no bearing on what happens with our spirit. Our culture has wholly swallowed Gnosticism, and sadly, the church is not immune. Anytime we say things like, “Just throw my body in the ditch; my soul is with Jesus,” we’re engaging in Gnostic thought. And when we say things like, “It doesn’t really matter if I gather with other believers,” we’re engaging in a form of Gnosticism.
“Your physical presence matters. The more this is woven into the DNA of our churches, the better we will be positioned to keep people connected through life changes.” — @mikeleake Share on XThere’s no such thing as mere presence. Dietrich Bonhoeffer said it well in his work “Life Together”:
The prisoner, the sick person, the Christian in exile sees in the companionship of a fellow Christian a physical sign of the gracious presence of the triune God. Visitor and visited in loneliness recognize in each other the Christ who is present in the body; they receive and meet each other as one meets the Lord, in reverence, humility, and joy. They receive each other’s benedictions as the benediction of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Your physical presence matters. The more this is woven into the DNA of our churches, the better we will be positioned to keep people connected through life changes. They will view connection as non-negotiable. We will grieve a lack of physical presence, as we navigate staying connected in these difficult seasons. The gospel pulls us toward gathering and not a division of presence.
For permission to republish this article, contact Marissa Postell Sullivan.
Mike Leake
Mike is the pastor of Calvary of Neosho in Neosho, Missouri. His new writing project is Proverbs for Today, a daily devotional.