Last month two young pastors committed suicide, leaving their families, friends, and churches wondering what they could have done or said to have prevented it.
Teddy Parker, a 42 year old pastor and father of two shot himself on November 8 in his driveway near Atlanta while his 800-member church and his family waited for him to show up to preach that Sunday. Parker suffered from manic depression.
Two weeks later, 35 year old pastor Jim Kelley shot himself in West Tennessee. He was the father of two young daughters, and the husband of a pregnant wife. He texted a friend where to find the suicide note he left in his Bible.
A 2012 report by the Centers for Disease Control reveals that an average of 105 Americans commit suicide each day. An estimated 8.3 million adults report having suicidal thoughts each year.
If you are a pastor who is struggling with suicidal thoughts or ongoing depression, please consider these suggestions.
1. Seek a Professional Diagnosis
A recent study by Lifeway Research found nearly 1 in 4 pastors (23 percent) acknowledge they have personally struggled with a mental illness such as depression, and only half of those pastors said their illness had been diagnosed.
Self-diagnosis is a waste of time and energy. Ignore the internet and get an appointment with somebody who has the credentials and experience to help you.
2. Let Others Minister to You
Pastors are often reticent to receive help because we have a role to play, expectations to live up to, and people to please – including our celestial Supervisor.
I went through a season of clinical depression several years ago that was fortunately temporary and treatable thanks to my Savior, my medical doctor, a licensed therapist, and a supporting cast of family and friends. My journey for healing started when I allowed others to minister to this minister.
Dr. Randy Davis serves as the Executive Director of the Tennessee Baptist Convention, so I asked for his response to these pastor-suicides:
Unless you have been a pastor it is very difficult to understand the burden of ‘shepherding the flock” and all the demands that comes with it. I believe that’s why God specifically promised men like Moses, Joshua, David, Paul and Nehemiah that He would be with them. He promised all of the rest of us that He would not leave us or forsake us. If there was one thing I want every pastor to know it is this: you are not alone.
3. Ask the Lord for Healing
The primary difference between Peter’s denial and Judas’ treason was that Peter asked for help. Peter chose repentance over remorse, healing over hopelessness, and life over death.
Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail (Luke 22:31-32).
I honestly do not know how much of depression is physical, mental, and spiritual. I am convinced however that Jesus is Lord of all three aspects of our lives. Jesus is still praying for our good and His glory.
4. Use Your Struggle to Help Others
Helping other pastors find mental health is sometimes challenging because of the stigma associated with depression. I often use my testimony to blow that stigma out of the room so that pastors will have a safe place to seek help.
And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers (Luke 22:32).
Pastor Parker’s longtime pastor friend Dewey Smith told The Christian Post, “It’s difficult for some preachers to be honest. Every pastor needs a pastor to kind of lead and guide them.”
I have led two church staff members who attempted suicide, one of whom succeeded. Both were under clinical supervision. In your attempts to help suicidal pastors or others, try not to take on the role of savior or specialist – just be available to help them find both.
{Focus on the Family has a free, confidential Pastoral Care Line available on weekdays from 8:00 am – 10:00 pm EST: 1-844-4PASTOR (844-472-7867). They also offer referrals for licensed Christian counselors in your area, or you can reach their counselors online by filling out a Counseling Request Form.}
