How can women develop resilience for the hectic and lonely seasons of ministry so that church ministry is sustainable?
By Denine Blevins
Andrea is deeply committed to the church she and her husband planted. She loves Jesus and longs to see the people and places around her transformed by His power. At the same time, she’s exhausted. Their home is a revolving door for visitors. She leads multiple ministries, usually with kids in tow. She constantly overhears criticism about her husband’s leadership. Thankfully, he has a coach to help him work through his challenges. Where does she turn to work through hers? Her coping strategy is to push her feelings aside and brace herself for another Sunday service.
I’ve never been a pastor’s wife, but I’ve been a woman in church planting. While I loved my job as the ministry coordinator, the demands were all-consuming. So much seemed to rest on my shoulders. Similar to the planter’s wife, I didn’t know what to do or where to turn, so I just pressed on … and burned out.
Women play vital roles in the church. Yet since much of their work is behind the scenes, they are often unsupported and overburdened. This can lead them to become disillusioned with the very congregations they love and serve. I see this heart-breaking reality time and time again.
How can women develop resilience for the hectic and lonely seasons of ministry so that church ministry is sustainable?
“Those who look to the him are radiant with joy.” Psalm 34:5
When issues are right in front of us, it can be hard to look to the Lord. This is especially true in church ministry when the work is endless, laborers are few, and stopping is not an easy option. Unlike online beauty influencers who share their tutorials for glowing skin, there’s no quick formula for spiritual radiance. That said, here are three practices that can help women (and anyone serving in the church) shift their gaze during the busyness of ministry: remember the greater story, rest in gospel identity, and receive support.
1. Remember the story
Women typically embark on the church ministry journey with both excitement and uncertainty. They long to see gospel fruit in the congregation, their families, and themselves. When the demands of ministry threaten that future vision, they can be left feeling like they’re standing on shaky ground.
Remembering God’s four-chapter story of grace (creation, fall, redemption, and restoration) gives us solid footing during unknown circumstances. Knowing we’re fallen yet redeemed allows us to make sense of confusing realities, such as godly leaders who also sin. Not only that, but this practice of “zooming out,” or seeing our story in light of God’s story, gives us the fortitude and courage to face the evil within us with gospel hope, leading us to repent, believe in God’s faithfulness, and love others more authentically.
2. Rest in gospel identity
A woman in church ministry experiences a barrage of expectations—from the pastor, from congregants, and especially from herself. Does she have to be best friends with every female volunteer? How many weekly activities can she skip without being missed? Are her kids expected to share all their toys when little ones come with their parents for Bible study? It can leave her feeling either controlled by these expectations or defiant.
“Embracing our identity in Christ frees us from living under the verdict of others.” — @denine120 Share on XEmbracing our identity in Christ frees us from living under the verdict of others. It leads us to make decisions about our time, talents, and relationships without fear of judgment. This authentic way of living not only protects our well-being but also models sustainable living for those in the church.
3. Receive support
Being in leadership roles in the church can create relational challenges. Particularly in church planting, leadership often requires leaving behind much of the relational support of the established church. As a leader shepherding others, a woman may feel hesitant to disclose her own challenges—especially if her issues are with the church. Her dual relationship with the pastor as her husband, boss, or peer makes it difficult to turn to him for care. This leaves her wondering, “Who pastors my heart?”
Years ago, I was hesitant to join a group that created space for women in ministry to share with transparency and vulnerability. I took pride in being self-sufficient. Plus, as a single woman, I didn’t think I’d fit in. I went reluctantly, hoping to get quick solutions for the problems around me. Instead, I received a gospel framework that revealed the root-level issues inside my heart. With that clarity, I could address external issues with confidence and hope.
“Used to serving others, it can be hard for women in church ministry to seek help for themselves.” — @denine120 Share on XThat said, there are times when a woman’s ministry context or season in life makes it hard for her to journey closely with others. The answer for her—and for all of us—is that the Good Shepherd Himself ultimately pastors our hearts, though He may use people and resources to do so. We can take comfort in knowing the Holy Spirit leads us to all truth and fills us with hope (John 14:26, Romans 15:13). We can hold the longing for relationships with open hands as we seek the Lord for help.
Help her be radiant
Used to serving others, it can be hard for women in church ministry to seek help for themselves. For ministry to be sustainable, churches must develop systems of support for both men and women. This is essential for their holistic well-being, which impacts the health and longevity of the church.
May we come alongside women in ministry so that they look to the Lord and reflect His light.
Denine Blevins
Denine is the executive director of Parakaleo, a U.S.-based nonprofit that provides learning experiences and community for women in church planting around the world.
For permission to republish this article, contact Marissa Postell Sullivan.
