Your church can equip those who leave to start at their next congregation as more mature disciples than they were when you first met them.
By Aaron Earls
Going camping as a Boy Scout, we were always taught to leave a place better than we found it. That meant that not only were we careful to not damage the environment around us, we also intentionally tried to improve things. If we saw trash someone else left behind, we picked it up.
That principle extends far beyond campgrounds, however. Think about friendships, jobs, and almost any area of life. We want to leave the people and the places we encounter better than they were when we arrived. We can also apply that principle to churchgoers who may be in our congregations for a season only to leave later.
Most churchgoers (53%) will attend more than one church as an adult, which means they must leave a congregation behind. Moving to a new location is the most common reason for changing churches (60%). But others stay in the same residential house while changing houses of worship.
Some churchgoers may be transitory, like members of the military or college students, so leaving the church is expected at some point. Others may just disappear one week, leaving pastors with questions and hurt.
Regardless of whether you’re prepared for someone to move to a different church or not, you can work to leave them better than you found them. Your church can equip them to start at their next congregation as a more mature disciple of Christ than they were when they began attending your church.
We don’t want to actively lure churchgoers from other congregations. Instead, we want to invest in them as much as possible while they’re in our church to prepare them best for their future church home, just as you’d want other churches to do for those who will one day join your congregation.
Don’t treat them differently
It can be tempting to avoid investing in churchgoers you think might not be around for the long haul. Some may seem like they’re eyeing another church across town. Others may only be in your area for a shorter time, be it for work or education. Don’t allow that to shape how you treat them.
My oldest son is involved with a local congregation while he is away at college. That church has invested in him and given him leadership opportunities even though he probably won’t be there in a few years. Wherever he goes next, he will be better because that church cared for him. Your congregation should do the same.
Teach theology
One of the greatest gifts you can give the “next church” is to be the church that gives someone a theological foundation. Lifeway Research’s State of Theology regularly demonstrates how much theological ignorance and illiteracy there is, even among churchgoers.
Someone may join your church as a new or immature believer. Help them grow in their knowledge of and love for Jesus. Teach them theology and cultivate a love for theology. They’ll be better parts of your body while they’re in your congregation. And they’ll be able to help their future congregation.
“One of the greatest gifts you can give the ‘next church’ is to be the church that gives someone a theological foundation.” — @WardrobeDoor Share on XTeaching theology to your members may spark something in the heart of a member that stirs them to leave your church to enter the ministry themselves. You may be sending them out not simply as a churchgoer but as a pastor or missionary.
But regardless, teach your people theology. It will benefit your church now and in the future, as well as potentially helping other congregations across the country or around the world.
Model healthy leadership
One of the most daunting realities of being a parent is realizing that your children will learn what a relationship and marriage should look like, for better or worse, by watching you and your spouse. Church leaders have a similar responsibility when it comes to demonstrating healthy spiritual leadership to churchgoers.
With all the pain and hurt that many have experienced within churches and at the hands of leaders, it is imperative that pastors and other leaders take seriously their biblical responsibilities to shepherd the flock God has placed under their care.
Show churchgoers what it means to lead sacrificially. But also let them see what it means to value their family and other responsibilities away from the office. The world is full of examples of poor leadership. When someone leaves your church for another, give them the ability to spot an inauthentic, exploitative leader by modeling what it means to be a healthy, biblical leader.
“When someone leaves your church for another, give them the ability to spot an inauthentic, exploitative leader by modeling what it means to be a healthy, biblical leader.” — @WardrobeDoor Share on XPray for them (and their new church)
When someone leaves your church, there are several wrong ways to respond, especially when you feel blindsided. Maybe you have to wait until the initial raw emotions wear off. But eventually, you should move to praying for them (and not the imprecatory psalms).
Pray God continues to work in their life and use them in their new congregation. If you feel there were some issues with how they left, pray God uses this moment to mature them. You may also be so bold as to ask God to use this opportunity to help you grow and become a better leader.
Don’t forget to pray for their new church as well. Not everyone who leaves one church joins a new one. Thank God they have found a new place to worship Him and serve. Ask Him to bless the work of their new congregation. Pray that God can and will use both your church and their new church to expand His Kingdom.
After all, an expansion of God’s Kingdom is the truest definition of leaving a place better than you found it.
For permission to republish this article, contact Marissa Postell Sullivan.