12 Ways to Encourage Dads in Your Church

Not all dads are wired the same. There are at least four types of dads and three ways to specifically encourage them on Father’s Day.

By Dr. Aaron Summers

Have you ever noticed how encouraging pastors tend to be on Mother’s Day but how discouraging they can be on Father’s Day? Mother’s Day sermons drift toward the beauty and strength of mothers. Don’t get me wrong; they are both of those things and more. However, why is it that Father’s Day sermons tell guys how bad they are at leading their families or how awful they are for taking a personal day sometimes? We build up Mom and tear down Dad. Here are 12 ways we can bring encouragement to Father’s Day.

If you haven’t heard, dads and moms are wired differently. However, not all dads are wired the same either. Let’s look at four types of dads. For each one, there are three ways to specifically encourage them on Father’s Day, or any day.

The colonel

This type of dad is a strong leader. He is the one in charge and everyone knows it. His traits include being direct, decisive, and dominant. I mean no negativity with these descriptors; this is who the colonel is. However, leadership can be lonely. While being the ones in charge, these dads are often private people. They do not show emotion (unless Junior is winning at a sport). The level of loneliness is higher than you might think. Here are three ways to encourage them.

1. Variety

If the church gave a pen or bookmark last year, do something else this year. If you choose to give a gift, make sure the gift is practical and usable otherwise it gets thrown out. These guys don’t want junk lying around.

2. Recognition

One way to encourage dads is to recognize how awesome they are. Find ways to make it real and memorable if in a group. If it is an individual, find a way to recognize him in a public setting.

3. Stability

Assure him everything will be OK. When under stress, these guys want to be encouraged by knowing it will be all right in the end and they have got it. The challenges they face can be overcome by the power of the Holy Spirit and the gifts God granted them.

“The challenges dads face can be overcome by the power of the Holy Spirit and the gifts God granted them.” — @aaronwsummers Share on X

The comedian

This type of dad is sometimes referred to as the celebrity parent. They swoop in from work and want to play. They reduce sentences and defer judgment for another time because life is about fun and the kids need fun. And they allow Mom to discipline. Their traits include being a pushover, a playmate, and popular. Though they are the fun ones, these dads can have bad stretches. As high as they get with the fun, they can fall into lows too. Here are three ways to encourage them.

1. Admiration

These guys need a scene to shine and express themselves. Their greatest encouragement comes from the admiration they feel.  Be sincere, though; they will know if you are faking it.

2. Party

Throw a party for them. Maybe the church could have a special party for them. While dads may say they don’t want the fuss, they often do, even when they play it off. While they are out doing something dads do, like landscaping or golfing, put up banners and streamers and invite them all back for an evening of fun.

3. Treats

Another way to encourage these dads is with little treats. Make a small treat bag for every day of a week or every Monday morning of a month. Work with your kid’s ministry or women’s ministry to assist in creating the bags. Pray over each man who will receive a bag that God would move mightily in his life. In this way, you will help make them feel special, loved, and supported.

The caregiver

This type of dad is a loyal and gentle person. He will talk things out with you. And he will be your best ally. He is kind, compassionate, and a good listener. These dads are often overlooked in our society because they are not “manly” enough. They can be the butt of jokes for not being the “All-American Male” style of dad. These caregivers’ traits include being loyal, level-headed, and long-suffering. Here are three ways to encourage them.

1. Assurance

These dads need assurance that even if things get worse, you will still be together through it all. Assure dads as often as possible, and don’t let them feel lonely. Remind them of their value and strength.

“Assure dads as often as possible, and don’t let them feel lonely. Remind them of their value and strength.” — @aaronwsummers Share on X

2. Personal

If you give a gift to these dads, make it personal. A personalized gift or award encourages them. The “#1 Dad” mug isn’t personal. For these, a handmade card or gift resonates more than a store-bought one. The time it takes you to do this impresses them because that’s how they would give a gift. Invite children’s ministry leaders to help kids make cards during small groups or children’s worship to present to Dad after worship.

3. Time

Spending time with these dads is meaningful. Prepare table talk questions for groups to discuss with Dad in mind. Then encourage families to choose a comfortable restaurant or a special meal at home where they can talk. Do not let the conversation go to “remember when Dad did that” and everyone laughs at him. This is a time to enjoy togetherness without mocking anyone.

The craftsman

This type of Dad is known for perfectionism and accuracy. He prides himself on not just measuring twice before cutting once but measuring three to four times, sharpening the blade, setting the angle to a .001 differential, and then cutting once. They are dialed-in and detail-oriented. They take counting the cost in Scripture seriously. Because they can get lost in the process, they might find themselves frustrated often. The whole house can get frustrated, which is no place to want to hang out. These dads’ traits include being stubborn, systematic, and slow. Here are three ways to encourage them.

“As you approach Father’s Day this year, let’s make it a time of encouragement in our churches and our homes.” — @aaronwsummers Share on X

1. Thank you

These dads do so much for us. Even the smallest task was done with such accuracy and detail that a lot of mental work went into it even if it wasn’t a “big deal” to the rest of us. Taking time to give detailed gratitude is meaningful to these dads. Invite families to prepare lists of gratitude to present to their dads on Father’s Day.

2. Accomplishment

Develop a “Top 10” list of what they have accomplished in the last year. Ask your men’s ministry leaders to prepare a list of what the men’s ministry or a group of men has accomplished since last year. Think about the men who volunteer their time to do the handyman tasks or repairs in the church.   

3. Share

This Dad keeps his emotions in check, usually. He has them but doesn’t reveal them. It is important for us to verbalize our feelings about Dad even if it seems uncomfortable. He might not give immediate feedback, but give him space to feel comfortable. Give him the comfort of knowing it’s OK to feel down sometimes, but you are there to encourage him. Allow for a moment in worship for families to share their thoughts with Dad.

Dads are weird creatures sometimes. I know because I am one. As you approach Father’s Day this year, let’s make it a time of encouragement in our churches and our homes.

For permission to republish this article, contact Marissa Postell Sullivan.